A few weeks ago, I had a friend over, and while sitting outside for a bit, we started having an intellectual conversation about friendship, at the end of it, he recommended that I write a post on just that, friendship, a vital part of our lives. With being in Kentucky while writing this before and after seeing some lifelong friends, I started thinking, and with that comes this journal.
“Be your friend’s true friend. Return gift for gift. Repay laughter with laughter, but treachery with treachery.”. This is a stanza from the old Icelandic poem called Hávamál ( the sayings of the high one). When I first read that stanza, it reminded me of the golden rule of treating others how you wish to be treated, however, the older I get, the more I realize that how you treat others does not always mean that you wish to be reciprocated in the same manner. The basic fundamentals of a new friendship are the same for everyone you meet, but it changes once you get to know the person. The conversations, the manner in which you speak, how you approach them, it all changes. That is why relationships either last or fade away because as we mature, we begin to open our minds to what is important to us as individuals. At times the people in our lives influence the changes and realizations that occur. It is also why in the friendships that are lasting longer, the level of communication between the two people is at its highest. The shorter the relationship the lower the communication was. This is why I like to refer to the stanza above, because it reminds you of how you go about all the different friendships and relationships that we have, for the reason that no friendships are the same.
A common predicament I keep witnessing is that people treat friendships as tools rather than creating something meaningful. We all know that one person that we only use when we need something, and it can be a hard truth to realize. That is why we must pay full attention to who we have in our corners and those whose corners that we are in, not only when times are great but, more importantly, when times are tough. The way that I learned how to figure out who those people are is to listen to them, they tell you want to hear all the time because they focus on your feelings. However, the people that are really in your corner will tell you what you need to hear and do not focus on your feelings, as they want you to become the best possible version of yourself, especially when you yourself knows that improvements can and should be made. If you have that person or those people in your corner, you should repay them by helping them become the incredible being that you know they can be as well, only if they accept it. That is how true friendships work, and at the end of the day, we are all striving to be the best individuals that we can be.
There is a concept that I think needs more of a spotlight from time to time, and it is that we, on top of what I stated in the paragraph above, is that we also treat ourselves in that same manner. This is something I am beginning to do. For the reason that though we have great people in our lives, they will not always be around to tell us what we need to hear. This is why it is important to become self-aware because, in one way or another, how we treat ourselves is also how we treat the people that matter most.
To the people in my corner, no matter the distance we are geographically, I thank you, because, through certain parts of this journey, I would not have made it without you all. I hope you all know I’m in your corner whenever you need me, just shine that Bat-Signal up in the night sky, and know I will be there.
